


St-rain-gly Familiar

by Judeyjude



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Puns, Depends on how you look at it, Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but it's v fluffy, meet ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judeyjude/pseuds/Judeyjude
Summary: prompt: Remus is having a terrible day. To top it all off, when he gets caught in a sudden downpour his umbrella refuses to open. Luckily for Remus, a black haired stranger comes to his rescue.--The rescuing doesn't go quite as planned...





	St-rain-gly Familiar

_Dammit, fucking god shitfuck._ Remus glowered, giving his umbrella a wild shake like it was a magical wand that would _poof!_ his day better. Or at least magic his umbrella into opening up  _like it fucking was supposed to._

 

The drizzling rain became a downpour, harder by the minute, drenching his favorite knitted sweater. He made eye contact with a stranger across the street, someone with dark curly black locks that looked unfairly impeccable and not even slightly frizzy in the rain. They stared at Remus with great amusement and something else, something more heated, and twirled their fully functional rainbow umbrella. Usually, Remus would have looked away, maybe a bit embarrassed, but not to- _godamn_ - _fucking_ -day. He glared at the stranger and shook his umbrella more furiously, never breaking eye contact. The stranger’s mouth opened into what Remus assumed was a chuckle and before he knew what was happening, the stranger glided across the busy street filled with cars zooming by.

 

In Remus’ defense, it all happened very fast.

 

One second his face scrunched together as he wondered who the _fuck_ this man was, dodging cars like he was on a lovely stroll in the park. And the next moment, the stranger stood before Remus, hunched over and clutching his stomach. Really, it wasn’t Remus’ fault that his umbrella sucker punched this person in the stomach. How was he supposed to know it would choose to actually do it’s one fucking job and open at the exact moment the stranger reached him? It should also be noted that James owned this umbrella, so Remus shouldn’t be at fault for its pointy end that probably hurt like a motherfucker.

 

The laughing—well, okay. _Maybe_ Remus would take some responsibility for that.

 

But he’d prefer to place the blame on his shitty day. If his day hadn’t been the most terrible terrible of all terribles, he never would have reached his sanity limit. Among many things, he’d tripped down a full flight of stairs in front of a dozen people, endured an angry screaming complaint from a customer for something that wasn’t his fault, and forgot to take his medication this morning. Inadvertently injuring a random person was the cherry on top. Instead of apologizing and offering to pick up the stranger’s umbrella, which lay on the sidewalk beside them, Remus froze and then promptly burst into maniacal laughter. Breathless, gut-hurting laughter. 

 

People walking by either stopped in shock or hurried by faster. As if laughing at this person’s pain wasn’t enough, Remus walked away, under James’ umbrella—though did it opening matter when his whole body was already soaked to the core—still laughing, without a single word. No apology, no offer to help, no nothing. He had dived into the dark insanity world where all proper social etiquette flew out the window. Besides, he needed to rush to the bakery in time before it closed, to pick up the cake for Marlene’s party.

 

James’ freaked out when Remus told him the story later that night.

 

“Do the face again!”

 

Remus sighed. He drew the left side of his lips down, opening his mouth and jutting the lower lip out, and widened his eyes in pretend pain. James pressed his forehead into the table, his shoulders shaking, and slapped his hand down repeatedly.

 

“Stop, stop!” he wheezed between giggles. “I’m going to p-pee myself!”

 

Scowling, Remus whacked James’ head with the morning newspaper they never read.

 

“This isn’t funny, you asshat.”

 

Wiping his eyes, James sat back up. “Says the man who laughed so hard he forgot to say sorry.”

 

“I _told_ you it wasn’t their face that was funny. And it was your shitty umbrella that caused this mess in the first place.”

 

“Moons, stop your worrying. It doesn’t matter, it’s not like you’ll ever see him again. We all have our asshole moments. And you’ve never had yours yet so really we should be celebrating.”

 

“If you even think about touching that cake, I will shove your fingers in the blender on crushed ice mode when you’re sleeping, so help me god.”

 

“Wow, Remus, the power of Assholery has really got to your hea—ouch, _fuck_!”

 

—

 

_Holy shit holy fuck no no no._ Remus ducked behind the Prewett twins, begging his brain to turn back online and figure out a plan. Perhaps jumping out the window? Too far away, he’d never make it in time. Maybe he could run really hard at the wall and knock himself unconscious. Hm. That’s actually not a bad idea _._

 

He eyed the wall thoughtfully, not noticing the twins moving away and leaving him in clear sight.

 

“Remus! I want you to meet someo—what are you doing?”

 

Tensing, Remus shut his eyes to pray for someone out there to send a little help, a little pity. Opening his eyes, he turned on his heel toward James’ voice, still in his awkward hiding crouch.

 

“Uh,” he said intelligently. James cocked an eyebrow, clearly enjoying whatever Remus was doing. Next to him, the stranger from yesterday watched with a Cheshire grin.

 

Remus glanced at the wall. The stranger foiled his plan to go unconscious now that there was the possibility that they could accompany James to the hospital. He couldn’t make a quick escape if he woke up in a hospital bed with the stranger there, most likely standing in the way of the doorway because life, apparently, hated Remus.

 

Clearing his throat, Remus slowly straightened his knees and walked forward. His cheeks burned with the intensity of fire from hell.

 

“Uhhhh,” _come on, Remus, words, you can do this,_  “...hi.”

 

“Sirius, this is Remus. Moony, you remember Marlene’s old friend from high school that she talks about? I’ve told you I’ve hung out with them a few times.”

 

Remus vaguely remembered. “Oh, yeah. Great to finally meet you.”

 

Sirius’ grin widened. “Are you sure we haven’t met before? You look st- _rain_ -gly familiar.”

 

“No, I don’t think so,” Remus lied. If James found out that this was the person from yesterday, Remus would drown himself in the punch bowl. _Punch bowl drowning—now where was that idea when he had needed it earlier?_

 

“I heard someone say you were gay, is that true or were they using that as an _umbrella_ term?”

 

“Dude, what the fuck,” James said to Sirius, picking up on the teasing vibe and assuming it had to do with Remus’ sexuality. A sensitive subject for him after years of witnessing people shit on bisexuality.

 

James’ overprotective moment created the perfect opportunity to dart away unnoticed and Remus did just so. He successfully avoided Sirius for the next hour, though he felt a constant lingering gaze. His heart said _go apologize_ but his mind said _I’d rather eat the jar of toenails Marlene keeps by the door to ward away “dumb fuckers”._

 

He nearly died when James brought the cake out and told everyone to say thank you for the “sacrifices Remus made” to get the cake. That was nothing, however, compared to how he felt when the music playing suddenly changed half an hour later. He didn’t recognize the song until the lyrics started— _Hi hi! We’re your weather girls._

 

With horror in his heart, Remus looked to where Sirius stood, holding the phone attached to the speakers. He watched, gaping, as Sirius danced across the makeshift dance floor in the living room.

 

_And leave those umbrellas at home,_ Sirius mouthed to the lyrics, shoulders shimmying. Remus covered his hands over his face, peeking through his fingers. Sirius started waving a fist in circle above their head.

 

Dropping his hands, Remus, said without thinking, “No.”

 

Sirius mouthed _oh yes_ and continued to lasso, throwing their arm forward as if they caught Remus with an imaginary rope. They pretended to pull the rope but Remus shook his head, refusing to move forward—he didn’t dance, especially not with this many people around.

 

_“It’s raining men! Hallelujah!”_

 

James noticed them and cupped his hands around his mouth, shouting to Remus to come dance.

 

_“Absolutely soaking wet!”_

 

Alice, Mary, and the twins, all traitors, caught on and began chanting with James, fist pumping while calling Remus’ name. Someone shoved their shoulder into Remus’ back and he stumbled forward, close enough for Sirius to lean and catch his elbow.

 

_“Dark and lean / Rough and tough and strong and mean!”_

 

For someone pretty slim, Sirius turned out to have surprising strength, easily tugging Remus forward and pulling them into the middle of the dance floor. People surrounding them cheered. _Fuck fuck fuck._ Remus didn’t know how to dance unless it was just him and James sliding in their socks at midnight. Smile softening, Sirius started doing dorky dance moves, a sort of wiggling macarena.

 

_“And every woman could find her perfect guy!”_

 

Sirius winked, earning a small laugh from Remus.

 

“You’re ridiculous,” he said over the music.

 

Shrugging in response, Sirius extended a hand, bowing slightly. Remus tentatively accepted it, allowing Sirius to place their other hand on his waist.

 

“This isn’t really a slow dancing song,” Remus said, trying not to think about Sirius’ cool hands.

 

“So?” Sirius led them in a simple slow circle.

 

Remus felt like he should be anxious or nervous but he felt oddly…calm. Maybe this content feeling, he thought, felt even better than a fast heartbeat.

 

“I’m sorry about the umbrella.”

 

Chuckling, Sirius spun Remus and said, “I wanted to be your Knight in shining armor and help but this definitely makes a better story to tell people.”

 

Remus spun Sirius. “If you ever tell James, I’ll maim you with it on purpose this time.”

 

“I won’t. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

 

They spent the remainder of the night on the fire escape, having snuck into the kitchen and cut a slice of leftover cake—sharing from the same plate and fork as if there wasn’t any other silverware. They sat in the summer nighttime chill, listening to the city sounds and knocking shoulders.

 

Needless to say, Sirius broke the promise on accident a few days later and in three years, James would dramatically retell the story of how they met at their wedding. Everyone would suddenly understand why their first dance had been to _It’s Raining Men_.

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find this on my tumblr [siriuslysarcasticremus](https://siriuslysarcasticremus.tumblr.com/)  
> : )


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